What rhymes with milk...milf

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Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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Why did your mom fall off the swing? I shot him.

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why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have herpes And now so do you

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What goes about 36 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

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how many friends does tomas have 0 he is a loner

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What do you call a group of Mexicans jumping over a fence? I heat of runners trying out for the Mexican Olympic hurdle team.

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There's two muffins in an oven, the first muffin says "Woah, it's really hot in here!". The second muffin says "Oh my God! A talking muffin!"

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Q:Why are dinosaurs extinct? A:Well there are two reasons the first being a giant meteor struck the earth killing all the dinosaurs. The other reason you touch yourself at night.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Beached whale: "Look at me, I'm a land mammal"

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'Doctor, doctor, I think I'm a pair of curtains' Doctor prescribes antipsychotics.

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What can never be seen by the owner, looks like Jesses mom, and smeels like shit. Jesses dick.

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what do you call a blind man who buys a caller i.d.? handicapped

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Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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What did the blonde order in the restaurant? A cup of coffee.

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Seriosly. too much sex again?

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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