Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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How do you get your dog to give you a blow job? You have to force him.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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what did timmy from southpark say after his warther melested him? TIMMY

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? A teenage girl was texting and driving, didn't see it, and now it's roadkill.

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What did the father say to his child Christmas morning? you're adopted

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Knock Knock Who's there? Santa Santa who? Imwatching you!

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Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

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What's long and hard and full of semen? An erect penis at the climax of an orgasm.

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What's better then a bad anti joke? A Good anti joke.

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Joe has 30 candy bars and eats 25. What does john have now? DIABETIES. Joe has diabeties. Please comment!!!!!!!

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what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies?

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Knock Knock: I have full blown AIDS

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How does a t-rex eat spaghetti? He didn't he ate a velocaraptor instead.

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I have a friend named Jay . But for short , he likes to be called J .

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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Lady gaga suposedly has a wener.What does that make her? A man

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Your momma is so dumb... that when she took an IQ test she score pretty low on it.

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OMG, I have a really funny alzheimer's joke. Your'e gonna love it! Uhh, I umm kinda forgot what it was now.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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why did Helen Keller's dog commit suicide? you would too if your name was uuhuhuhduhh

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Its crackers to slip a rozer and dropsey in snide.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your pork? Finding half of a worm, because the worm you just ate is going to live in your stomach, breed, then come out your butt. Or the Apocalypse.

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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