Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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My mom was telling my brother how much it hurt when she stubbed her toe. He told her she should try child birth.

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Why did the man kill his friend? How am I supposed to know

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A friend of mine said; the only vegetables that makes you cry are oignons. that was before I hit him with a watermelon

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What is the difference between my pet goldfish and an african village? My pet goldfish has water.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhymming you have nice boobs

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did you know helen keller had a dog? neither did she....

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What is better than winning a gold medal at the parolympic games? Having two legs!

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did Jim not go to the park and play football with his Dad today? His dad got hit by a bus and lost his legs

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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What did the cat say when it was hungry? Meow.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the doorstep? The Diabetes man

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A manly man drives up in a yellow bug, What do the girls think? They think its very manly! (;

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was a busy highway it was hit before making it to halfway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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