Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs going down a mountain? A: As good as dead.

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there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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What did one Teacher say to the other teacher? Nothing. The first teacher has a horrible drinking habbit which is getting out of hand, He beats his wife and children each night after his drinks at the bar. His parents have stopped all contact and he found some divorce papers in his wifes draw, also saying she would be getting full costudy of the children. He has lost the majority of his friends and didnt want to loose another one, and kept his problems to himself.

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What do you do if your batteries die and you have none left? Go to your nearest battery selling retail store and buy some more.

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Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

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What do you call somebody with no arms or legs and they are stranded in the middle of the ocean? Answer: screwed

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What did one cat say to the other cat? Nothing.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The KKK, got any blacks?

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Gingers

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What's black, white and red all over? A race war

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Yo Momma So Fat!

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What did one muffin in an oven say to another muffin? Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects thus incapable of sppech.

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How do you get a blond out of tree? Shoot her in the head.

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teacher: what is your name? student: some people call me attractive (mx)

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Who is stupid and no one likes him. Me. :(

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Why couldn't the Egyptian pharaoh solve the Rubik's Cube? He didn't know how.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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Five guys in white sheets chase a black man down the street. It is Halloween and all six people are close friends and enjoy goofing around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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