How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

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What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Can you get me a stapler,but make sure it has staples or else I won't be able to staple anything

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint

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Whats the difference between a squirrel and a grape? They're both squirrels but ones a grap...

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What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say absolutely nothing because they're muffins and not sentient.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

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What did Santa say when he came to drop off your toys? Nothing. Santa doesn't exist.

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I know a black person. His name is Mikey.

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My house is on fire I'll probably die posting this joke

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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an american walks out of a strip club.

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Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It couldnt because a chicken was obscuring its path.

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage in my hand.

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A man agreed with a camel. The camel didn't agree. ... (This joke does only make sense in the Dutch language.)

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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