knock knock. who's there. gestapo.

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? depends on how hard you throw them

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make me a sandwich! what kind?

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? I don't know, why don't you go ask him?

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I actually take my shoes off when I jump on the trampoline.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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Identical jokes get different amounts of votes

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Why did the Mexican cross the border? To get into the USA for a better lifestyle.

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Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

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This isn't funny.

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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What is a black person's favorite food? It varies from person to person, just as with any race.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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2 muffins were in the oven when one turned to the other and said. "Damn it's hot in here" The second muffin looked at him with a shocked expression and exclaims "She's burning the potatoes!"

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Harry to Voldemort: Your mother is so fat, her patronus is a cake!

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A women driver prepares to park in a small space between to cars on the side of a road. She safely and flawlessy parallel parks, and proceeds to enter a nearby coffe shop for an important business meeting.

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Jake likes to have tickle parties with McCauley Culkin.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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