why was little timmys mother so upset on mothers day? Because he had been abducted earlier that week

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A one legged man walks into a bar and falls down.

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Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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What did Billy get his dad for Father's day? Nothing, his dad was killed by a spinning helicopter blade when Billy was 3.

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage!

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Why did the girl fall off the swingset? Because she got hit by a refridgerator.

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A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

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So, a Bobcat walks into a bar. A few moments later, the bar was empty, save a bobcat and two critically wounded men.

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why did stuart buy an ipad from the mall. because he wanted an ipad

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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an irishman walks past a bar a.w. j.p.

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? None, there is nothing wrong with the light bulb.

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What is the difference of The United States and 10 pounds of shit? Well,considering there are 50 united states,we would take 10 away from 50 for a total of 40. A very simple subtraction problem indeed.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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