What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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A black man, a Mexican man, a white man, an Asian man, a priest, a rabbi, and a prostitute walk into a bar. It was a very popular bar.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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What's the quickest way to a man's heart? A knife.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders house?. No, Well neither has he...

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Why was the girl-scout crying? I hit her in the knee with a baseball bat.

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'l give you a nickle to tickle my pickle i'l give you a dime to take you time

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Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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Why did the depressed man commit suicide? Its typical of a depressed person.

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Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

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Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

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A blind man walks into a bar, bystanders help him up.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven has an extra penis

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How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? A car crash.

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when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot lost control of the plane.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

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Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... Knock knock. ... The FedEx man leaves, realizing that no one was home, and continues on with his job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops