What happens when a chicken with a goat have sex? nothing.

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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What is the difference between a urologist and a can of chili? One is hot and spicy, and the other analyzes urine.

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why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

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What did the dead man say to his best friend? Nothing.

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Brenda said she found a pill to stop the effects of aging! It was a cyanide pill, Brenda is dead.

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How does a penguin make pancakes out of skis? Purple because it's the best.

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My grandfather slipped on a banana peel. I helped him up.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Herpes. Bummer.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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Haha, I get it..

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What do you call a black man in green shoes and a yellow hat ? Nothing,thats just him pursuing in his own regular casual outfit there for you would just notice him as a normal man walking around with shoes and a hat on so there is nothing to call him

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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What did the calculator screen say? Cos0=1

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what happens if you fart to hard? A.you shit yourself

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How many pancakes do you need to reach a 2.5m roof? Purple, because aliens don't fly

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Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

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What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag. How do you make a man pregnant? Stick a dead baby up his ass! How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head. How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how hard you throw them. -S

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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How do you stop a baby from spinning round a washing line. Hit it in face with a baseball bat.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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