What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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The sword that kills, the sword that gives life.

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What does the kitty say to his owner? you've CAT to KITTEN right MEOW

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart.

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Why wasn't the cab driver sent to prison after bombing the school? It was a suicide bombing.

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Once upon a time, there were two brothers jumping on a bed. The one stopped because the other fell off the bead and died.

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Q:Wanna know a funny joke? A:Womens Rights

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? You wouldn't be able to count them if it were dark.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Two Holocaust Whats worse that two Holocaust? Dane Cooks Comedian act

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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What do you call a ginger in an oven? A ginger in an oven

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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What happens when a leprechaun refuses to give you his pot of gold? He doesn't give you his gold.

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Duke Nukem censored line: What are you waiting for? the celebration of the day you crucified Jesus and ate his flesh and blamed it upon the anti christ because of... Victory? Because you know Jesus gave his life in order to prove that he was immortal and died for your sins because his life is eternal... Satan your Moral Man: Nah, lets just go with "what are you waiting for, christmas?" Now go celebrate you murdering your savior which said "ill be back" on the cross and returned three days later at his second coming? Seriously? I thought only Jesus: The guy that was totally an ARAB (deny it and be consumed in the flames of hell, not my problem), and Jesus: strikes back came out, where can I get Jesus: The third coming? Factoid: Yeah Jesus was totally a blonde haired white man which went clothed in the finest ARYAN silks, in addition he only drove in his MUSTANG 9001 and smoked Lucky Strike... Which did nothing for his luck...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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On September 11th 2001, A worker of North twin tower man woke up to find his dog had chewed on his brand new phone. He went down stairs and realized his kitchen window had been broken. Getting ready to leave for work and saw his radio had been stolen out of his car. After finally making it to work and settling down in his office he spilled coffee on his lap. Enraged, the man yelled, "How could today get any worse!?"

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Two icebears are siiting on a iceberg one says to the other: Are you fine with me pushing you off? the other one responds: Would you marry me?

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What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? Nothing at all, except the WNBA is professional basketball players of the female sex.

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want to get screwed for four years? VOTE REFUGLYCAN!

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How do you make the queen of england cry? You rape her violently.

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Whats Worse then finding a worm in your apple. Finding a real joke on anti-joke.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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