i like turtles

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What did the rat say to the dog? Nothing, he is a rat and therefore incapable of speech.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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A blonde and a brunette were hanging onto the edge of a cliff for dear life. The brunette somehow found the strength to climb back up. The blonde was impressed, but had muscular dystrophy so she slipped and fell to her death.

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When would you find a Mexican, Asian, Black and white guy hanging out? Never

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know ask a second grader.

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Why doesn't superman eat peanuts? Because he doesn't like them.

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Why did the duck cross the road? It followed the chicken.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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What is green, walks on four legs, and is capable of the strongest bite in the world? An alligator.

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A man came home from work and said to his wife im going to kill u

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No.. Neither have they.

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Billy: Hey Timmy, you're so fat your high school picture was an aerial photograph Timmy: Oh yeah? Well you're so fat when you tried to take that photograph the helicopter pilot told you to get out because you're too fat

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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Why can't you fit 100 oranges in a bathtub? Because motorcycles don't have doors

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting horrible boils all over my face! Okay then. Take off your underwear and we'll see what's going on.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To buy more crystal meth to fuel his addiction while his wife and children starved in the public houses.

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Whats is worse than a dog bite? A shark bite. Whats worse than a shark bite? The Holocaust.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops