flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Did you hear about Phil in accounting? No? Well he was trying to make a new type of car. He took the seats from a ford engine from a dodge, and the frame from a toyota. Do you know what he got? 5 years in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

why are some people black? Because god decided there needs to be different people in the world therefore none are congruent

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Forward this anti-joke to at least 15 people And absolutely nothing extraordinary will happen in the next 10 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

your mama's so fat she wears big clothing

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

thumb_up thumb_down -37

What did the tractor say when he lost his farmer? Where's my farmer??????

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Of course, you have always found more joy in seeing others happy, that pursuing your own happiness.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An american, canadian, and mexican are on a skyscraper. Canadian: (pulls off maple leaf) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) Mexican: (pulls out burrito) we have to many of these in our country (throws off building) American: (looks at mexican) we have to many of these in our country (pushes mexican off building)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

were you expecting a joke

thumb_up thumb_down -37

so a man walks into a store looking for a new sheet,the cashier he goes to is chinese He leaves with a new sheet and is satisfied with it,oh wait,he gave me a pile of shit,sorry guys i had to -chuckles

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Roses are red, Violets are violet They are not blue You stupid twat

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Two 16 year old girls are chatting on their way to school: Girl 1 : "hey, is that a hickey on your neck? say, have you been naughty? is it Brian's mark?" Girl 2 : "That's not a hickey, it's a bruise. My dad came home drunk again last night and beat me up for no reason."

thumb_up thumb_down -39

what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Have you seen Stevie Wonders house? No. Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

How many types of pure breed dogs are there in the world? 701

thumb_up thumb_down -39

the only people that will miss whitney huston are her drug dealer and possibly bobby brown

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What is the oppisite of water? Dry!

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What's big and messy? A big mess

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Have you seen Jennifer Aniston's newborn baby? Neither has she.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police your parents just died in a car accident

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops