I like my coffee the way I like my women.....without a penis.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones because I have osteoporosis

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Why is cancer a big thing? -It has grown after the diagnoses

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What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

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Two Muslim men board an American Airlines jet. Nobody feels threatened and engage in friendly conversations with the passengers. The aircraft explodes due to poorly manufactured engine parts made by small starving children.

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whos best at KS3 irish and is sexy? tiarnan i lied about the sexy part

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

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Your momma's so fat: She feels uncomfortable in public due to current trends in ideal body shape and aesthetics of beauty.

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why did nick kiss esther because he cheated

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what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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There are 2 black guys in a car. Who's driving? The police.

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boling water: why is it taking so long for you to get hard? egg: sorry, it's just because i recently got laid by a chick.

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Why didn't the girl's ring fit? She had no fingers.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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Whats Pink and fluffy? Yellow fluff thats been dyed pink :D

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A little boy was taken away in a black van with the promises of candy and a puppy of his very own. What he received? That fore mentioned, and more. The more? Ass rape

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender goes why do you have a cane? The man goes "I'm blind."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops