why couldn't jimmy play on the swings at recess.. Because he's been dead for 5 years

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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"I see!" said the blind man, as he picked up a saw and hammer.

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What happened to the guy who took more lineage then he should have? He went to sleep.

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Why are friends like trees? If you hack at them repeatedly with an axe, they fall over.

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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What was the women doing out of the kitchen? Watching the movie 'Birth of a Nation' at her father's house

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there were 2 black men and a mexican man in a car. who as driving? we cant tell from the problem but is is more likely it is a black guy because there are 2 of him and 1 mexican.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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Roses are cheap Violets are on sale It's Boxing Day Please buy my flowers I really need the cash.

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What do you call a Mexican that is jumping off a building? A suicidal jumper!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Does this rag smell Like chloroform to you?

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Who's gay? Justin Beaver

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Nazi jokes are not funny. ANNE FRANKly they're mean! See What i did there?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

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Q: Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? A: A burglar

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What's the difference a black person and a park bench? A park bench is a object and a black person is human.

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Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

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Q how do you feel? A with a series of nerve endings, that send signals to my brain

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you kill a blonde? Push her off a cliff.

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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