Whats white and rubs stuff out ? An albino with a rubber.

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"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?" "No." "Good. Tobacco causes cancer."

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How do you get clean dishes? You wash them.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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How can you tell that the Filipino presidential candidate Grace Poe is an alien? From her extra set of retractable jaws and highly acidic body fluids.

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there are seven of us," reply the babies, "now get us a round of bloody marys

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What's black and Has 8 legs? Gang Rape.

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Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

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why was the blond so easy,because ALL blonds are whores.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Noooooooo...

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Why was the woman out of the kitchen? She was at her mother's funeral.

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

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What's worse than a burglar breaking into your house in the middle of the night? A rapist breaking into your house in the middle of the night.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm a schizophrenic And so am I

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Why is a T-shirt like a topaz statue of the Archangel Gabriel? They both start with 'T'.

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3

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Why was the boy sad? His parents died in a horrible accient earlier that day.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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