why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

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Why did the plane crash? Because a tomato was the pilot.

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Gay rights.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

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A jewish man walks into a bar has a drink, then walks out of the bar.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and an arab walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the arab has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in Chicago. The bartender reminds the arab that he's with a swine, and the arab is offended for the poor horse.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

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why was the boy mad? He had a lot of homework that evening

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What did one bulbasaur say to one squirtle? Well, first off, pokemon are virtual animals created solely for the enjoyment of entertaining japanese children and causing seizure episodes. This fictional creation then migrated to an american tv market, still maintaining their superficial existence while continuing to promote slavery and the use of round balls that capture your problems and propagate winning through random ball throwing. They are fake, and as they are fake, the bulbasaur said "we are fake"

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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What do you call it when a cigarette is brown instead of white? A cigarette that is or has been damp so that the nicotine was able to bleed into the paper and dye it.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. "Why of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks: "Where are you from?" "I'm from Ireland," replies the second man. The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have another round to Ireland." "Of course," replies the second man. I'm curious, the first man then asks: "Where in Ireland are you from?" "Dublin," comes the reply. "I can't believe it," says the first man. "I'm from Dublin too! Let's have another drink to Dublin." "Of course," replies the second man. Curiosity again strikes and the first man asks: "What school did you go to?" "Saint Mary's," replies the second man, "I graduated in '62." "This is unbelievable!", the first man says. "I went to Saint Mary's and I graduated in '62, too!" About that time in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. "What's been going on?" he asks the bartender. "Nothing much," replies the bartender. "The O'Kinly twins are drunk again."

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Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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What did the pirate say to the ninja? I have aids.

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what's the diferance between a boner and a lambroghini? I dont have a lambroghini

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Johnny fell out of the window. Except he didn't fall I pushed him

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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