What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She was a loaf of bread.

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Jack wasn't nimble. Jack wasn't quick. Jack sat on the candle and burned his corduroys.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Q-What happens when you grow tomatoes in Kansas on an odd number year when its an average of 398degrees Kelvin ? A-You eat em

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A japanese man enters a Honda dealership and is approached by an eager salesman. The salesman shows him a few models and then asks him curiously "What do they call Honda in Japan?" The japanese man answered "Honda"

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What is green and slow Grass.

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i am an arrow and i did not hit your knee!f

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Wanna here a funny joke... Trevor michael dyess's social life.

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What did the homeless man's sign say? It didn't say anything. You had to read it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Whats a six letter name for black people? Friend.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doctor. You have aids.

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What do you call a man with a spade in his head? Dead.

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What did the college student do during her Spring Break in Mexico? We're not sure, she never came back.

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What did the fat man order at McDonalds? Nothing, he was on a diet

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How did the deaf girl die? I beeped but she didnt hear me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

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Why did the black man have no toes? Because during his climb of Everest, he got frostbite and they had to be amputated.

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what did the drunk man say to the bar tender? Hello good sir. Fine day today isn't it.

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get for you?" The man replies, "a drink"

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Our societal waste doesn't deserve to be called a group. They fail to organize themselves and lack the intelligence to support themselves. Let's call them a collective. Similar to dust, or smarter than them, bacteria.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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