I have a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't Jimmy go to school? Because Jimmy is a brick wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the man with no head say to the women?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you know when you've ritten too many anti-jokes? When you answer your own question as a rhetorical device

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a horny blond on the corner? A prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A man walks in to a bar, and the Bartender says "Why the long face?" The man replies "My wife is dying of Terminal Cancer".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Got in a Taxi and the driver said "You'll never guess who i had in the back of my cab the other day". I said "It's probably pointless me trying to guess then ".

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If you took all the veins in your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

%3c%2fa%3e%3c%2fh3%3e alert("The Game."); %3cScR%69pt%2ffoo%3eev%61l%28%27ale%27+%27ert%28%29%27%29;

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you hear the one about the guy who couldn't tell any funny jokes? He went to Anti Joke and posted 1000's.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How many omish people did it take to screw in a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: What did the black man, the white man, the hispanic man, and the english man have in common? A: They all enjoyed broccoli.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 3 less than 4? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why are the black people in Africa dying? Because the poverty rate is high and they don't have enough money to by simple things like medicine and mosquito nets to prevent AIDS, Malaria, and other infectious diseases.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What is green and smells like paint? Grass, it doesnt smell like paint, I lied.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

how do you kill a blond? there are many ways but every one of them is illegal and could be criminally chargeable.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops