Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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He who laughs last gathers no moss.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear. Fuzzy wuzzy had no hair. Fuzzy wuzzy had cancer.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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would you rather harry styles my dick have harry styles suck my dick or both of you style on my harry dick?

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Adeeeellllleeeee where are my shorts

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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How do you spell orange? O-R-A-N-G-E-U-D-U-M-B-A-S-S

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised at how far a can can preach hate in chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he is keeping company with a swine, and the muslim feels offended for the poor horse.

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Why did Sally fly off the swing, She had no arms Knock knock *Who's there* Not Sally

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What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

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What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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Why did they use the phone as a football? Because it was a phone-ball.

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Why did the chicken cross the road...

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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What did the black guy say to the japanese ninja with super fighting skills? Nothing, because he neck was sliced before he could.

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mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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