What did the man say when he realized that he was late for work? "Shit, I'm late for work."

Whats the difference between dinosaurs and skittles? Dinosaurs were killed out hundreds of thousands of years ago when skittles on the other hand are sugery candy that people eat when they are craving a sweet treat

Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

Did you hear about the Nun in the Twin Towers? Yeah, she died too

Q: you wanna hear a joke? A: yeah sure. Q: well im not gnna.

The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

How do you scare Sarah Palin? You chase her around with a chainsaw while wearing a Jason mask.

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

The word "Walter" is never funny.

Why was the poor man poor? Because he doesnt make money

Q: pete and re-pete were on a boat, pete fell off. who was left? A: i dont know, but why did pete fall off in the first place, that dumb ass

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Beacuse he got kicked out of the bar

your mom is so fat that she should probably try a deit in the neer future.

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? He has retinopathy of prematurity and was born blind.

What do you call it when you eat cheese that's not yours? Stealing.

What do you call a chicken who crosses a road? Nothing, its still a chicken

So a guy is playing jeopardy and decides to choose the category "Therapist." so he tells the host, "I'll take the rapist for 200."

What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn

welcome to australia. *kangaroo kicks you in the gut and you keel over, whereupon you are stampeded by wild dingoes and eaten by tasmanian devils*

What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

Why did the black man buy a gun? Because he and his family live in a dangerous neighborhood.

What was the pirates favorite letter? Q.

Why did the kids all eat their homework? Probably because they were starving to death and there was no other food source available.

What comes out of a zit? Purple poop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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