Why did the chicken cross the road. grass was greener on the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the Mexican running? He was being chased by border patrol!

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To see if it could.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My mom says to me are you gay and i say are you gay (What did i just do)

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How does Moses like his tea? Hebrews it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't, she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

XD I TOTALLY CANT BELIEVE I FELL FOR THAT ONE! XD IT WAS LIKE SO OBVIOUS! XD

thumb_up thumb_down -25

white or wheat? wheat please.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q. Why did Sarah fall off of the swing? A. She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A apple is red a banana is to never mind that joke sucks

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Knock knock... Home invasion

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why couldn't Horton hear a who? He was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did rhys jones get shot. because he was there

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the blonde cross the road? To get to the Public University where she worked as a Ph.D associate professor of linguistics.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue And so avatars And so is blue paint

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops