What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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How many dollies does little Suzie have? Enough to kill 15 men

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was commiting suicide.

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how do you kill a baby? introduce it to alice cooper

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Mary.

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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What does the Bill in Bill Clinton stand for? Bilious.

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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Why did the man kill the hamster? To get to the other side.

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why does the man appear fat he is

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I have read and agree to the Terms of Service.

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Did you hear about the circus fire? Yes, apparently there were no casualties but all their props and equipment were destroyed, which will set the company back financially, even with the insurance.

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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How did the car get a dent? Terrorists bombed the house next to it

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What do you get when you cross a dog with a cat? Nothing, it is impossible to mix 2 different animals

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Yamum is so poor that she has trouble supporting herself and paying her own bills. Subsiqeunetly she had her electricity and home phone cut off, not that she would have any use for a home phone with her electricity cut off anyway. She sits on her bed and cries herself to sleep each night and has been thrown into depression due to her spiraling financial debts of which she can see no end to. This has led to several attempts to take her own life to hopefully finally find a way out of her misery and debt.

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Roses are red Violets are blue this doesn't rhyme i like trains.

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Why does Amy leave Dan? Dan gets hit by a bus.

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My daughter got a kinder surprise with cool toy today..... i killed her i didnt even want the toy

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Q: What's the best part of having sex with twenty-seven year olds? A: By age twenty-seven the average person has reached sexual maturity, and has also developed mentaly enough to understand, and subsequently process the intimate nature of an adult relationship.

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roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

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Why did Timmy mow the lawn? He didn't particularly like the way it looked Why did Timmy fall down the well? He is retarded and thirsty How did Timmy die? He had stage three lung cancer Why cant Timmy drive a car? He has been dead for three years

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops