Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A black man goes outside to shoot some hoops. He misses all of them because not all blacks are good at basketball.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Q: I have a bed, but never sleep, I have a mouth, but never speak. What am I? A: Stephen Hawking

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock... who's there... i dont know i aint got a house

thumb_up thumb_down +17

My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Next up, Sharpi and Ryan take their audition faliure very seriously in "columbine high school musical"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats yellow and very big? I dont know. no one will tell me

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats funnier than a banana an orange -may bieber

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why was the girl crying? She had just been severely raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why are the deserts so dry? Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How many stripes are there on a policeman's socks? None, policemen must wear regulation plain black socks.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did 3 kids mom's die last year? Because they were depressed and committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the cookie shader Because someone dropped it

thumb_up thumb_down +17

I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops