You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

How do you leave a jackass in suspense? I'll tell you later.

Yo mama so ugly, she has to work harder than most women to attract men.

so a horse walks into a bar and the bartender syas why the long face and the horse says naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Q: What is white, and comes out of a woman? A: No, milk you perve

what do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill Exercise

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

What did the politician say to the other politician? We are both politicians.

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

whats better than 1,000,000 dollars? 1,000,001 dollars

how do you get a happy man to stop smiling? hit him in the face repeatedly untill he is dead.

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit a talking Muffin."

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

If life throws you lemons, you might be dislexic

What did the black man buy at the store? Nothing he has no money

What did god say to Jesus. "Dude, she's not a virgin"

A blonde was taking a Math exam, so she brought her Asian boyfriend with her. It turns out they were going to his father's retirement party afterwards.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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