How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

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What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

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Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

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I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

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Two boys go down stairs on christmas day. They fall and die.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

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what do you wear at a funeral? white. lol jk black

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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What's white and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A refrigerator.

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A black, Kenyan man enters a race. He comes in second to last as he didn't practice as much as the other contestants.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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i just cant stand up to cripple jokes

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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Text this number just cuz 16305208722

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What's the difference between heaven and hell? Hell likes you more.

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Why does Chuck Norris always know the time? He bought a fancy new watch.

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Yo momma's so fat she weighs more than the average woman of her age and height

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Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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Kirstie Alley is soooo fat! How fat is she? Well, she's so fat that she's in grave danger of developing heart disease, and death

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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