A horse walks into a bar. The waiter asks: 'Why the long face?' The horse, not understanding English, takes a crap on the floor and walks out.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger. They had left the keys inside and no-one was around to help.

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

(A man goes to visit his neighbor) Knock! Knock! ...................... ................... ................ ............ he walks back home

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

Why couldn't the man walk? He lost his legs when he stepped on a land mine in Afghanistan.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

Why did the homosexual man buy the antijoke book he enjoys reading

Jewish guy walks into a bar. He owns the place.

So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

roses are blue viloets are red this poem doesnt make sense microwave

Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

Crime in a hen house. All hens killed. Police found the suspected fox quickly and asked him if he have done it. No - he said. But it was him.

Bill Clinton, George Bush, and Barak Obama find a magical lamp. The Genie says, "I will give each of you one wish, and one wish only.." They all wished to be presidents.

ask me if im a fence are you a fence WALNUTS!

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

Boy, is it hot this summer! How hot is it?! So hot that many people have died as a result!... Drink plenty of water.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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