Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

I will see it when I believe it, as far as your order or whatever goes, I have already taken a look, and its nothing for me, you hide behind idealism yet use cruel methods and inhuman tactics in order to justify your means, you hide behind a shell of fucking "charm" and employ people to harass others. YOU ARE NO FUCKING BETTER THAN THE REST! YOU ARE BENEATH ME! As for that sister fucking bullshit, joke is on you, I do not have a sister! I bet that was one of your fucking "Nero`s" all six billion of your fucking personality disorders. Moral: I am the FUCKING MORAL MAN! And while I do not have a sister to rape, ill get down with yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Hi, how are you doing? Good, yourself? Fine, thanks. Have a nice day. You too, bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did Shivank say to Ricky? "you suck dick" HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what happens if you toss a grey stone into a red sea? it gets wet...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A lion walks into petsmart and asks the cashier were the dog food is. The Cashier replies your a cat and the cat food is in isle 4 you pussy

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How do you make a blond cry? You punch her in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Oh na na not today Oh na na maybe tommrow

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

thumb_up thumb_down +8

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man jump out of the plane? He was going on a parachute dive with his friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there once was a black man who played basketball

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops