People are like trees. When hit multiple times with an ax they fall down.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootise pop? No, seriously, does anyone know?

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Yo mama's so poor, she doesn't have a lot of money.

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What do you get when you cross the motorway with a lottery ticket? You get knocked down and killed.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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This is a shovels and rakes conversation. No hoes allowed.

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My friends told me they found a dead women....they said they pissed on her........that was my mom

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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a man about 65 years old is tired with his life. he begins to realize that it is meaningless to him. whil on his way to commit suicide, he comes across a man with a magicul offer. the magical man is offering to grant him the power to fly. although, the magical man wants something in return. the 65 year old man, says to himself, "i have nothing to lose". so he gives the magical man all his money and possesions he has with him. with a flick of his wrist, the magical man says, "ok, you have now been granted the power to fly". the 65 year old man, overjoyed of how he has the ability to fly runs to the nearest cliff and jumps. too bad the magical man was really male prostitute broke out of money and tricked the 65 year old man into beleiving that he had magical powers to grant him the power to fly. the 65 yeard old man died from impact and the male prostitute walked away with a wallet full of money.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb none, because chickens do not have opposable thumbs,therefore prevents them from preforming such a remedial task.

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Chuck Norris once stared in a show called Walker: Texas Ranger.

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Q: what did the man with no eyes get for Chrismas? A: Reading glasses

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"Merry Christmas, Mom! My gift to you is...ME!" "I brought you into this life you disrespectful brat!" He then proceeds to a cliff.

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Knock knock. Who's there? A bad joke.

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whats harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree? my dick wile i do it

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what do you call a man that is hurt? A: you call him an ambulanse

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Why did the boy fall of the swing He had no arms

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Your momma is so fat, she should be concerned about her increased risk if a heart attack, due to her poor eating habits.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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asians have slitted eyes lol

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Whats green and gets you really high? A green airplane

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did you hear about the two peanuts walking down the street? one was raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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