Why did the dog bark? Because he wanted to.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have cancer."

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knock knock who's there? me josh! come in.

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A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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one day there was an ugly barnicle. he was SSSOOO ugly that everyone died the end -patrick

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first? Give us the bad news first, the parents reply. Your baby has red hair, says the doctor. Well whats the good news, ask the parents. It’s dead.

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how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

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Roses are gray Violets are black Don't judge me I'm color blind>.>

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Yo mamma's so fat she has her own zip code!!! :) Well... the actual reason is she is filthy rich and her house is so big that it takes up a bunch of room, and now that im talking about her i really wanna be her even though shes fat!

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News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

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How do you kill a dwarf? You put rope around his neck and attach the other end to a concrete slab. Proceed to then through him in the ocean.

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What time is it when you run out of ice cream? Time to get more ice cream.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being brutally murdered as you are watching your guts spilling out of your body

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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What was Hitlers first toy? An easy back oven.

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Thank you very much for being so kind to me throughout the years. I have never known a better man. Rest in peace.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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How can you tell if a duck is behind you? Turn around

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A blonde goes to school, and completes a difficult math problem.

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My mom farted, she also has Alzheimer's, I also have Alzheimer's. Also pizza didn't like it

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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