I GOT YOUR BUTT PUSSY!

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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once, my friend said hi. i said hi back

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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What did the crazy asian man say just before he died? He didn't say anything- he was in an 18 month long coma due to a brain stem stroke. He left behind a wife, a 3 year old daughter and a newborn son.

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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Roses are red Heres something new Violets are violet not fucking blue

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why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by the ice cream van

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her: what did your last slave die of? him: syphillis

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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How did the black kid pass his exam? He studied.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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When the sun goes down... Most of the guys pants goes down too. Just be straight XD

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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Dr.Octagonapus.... BLAAAAAArGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jackalope :)

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

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Why did the man jump off the cliff? Because he suffered from chronic depression as a result of frequent drug abuse.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What goes round and knocks on windows? A paedophile.

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What did jimmy get for dinner? Food

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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