How many different ways can you kill a cat? 27, unless you live in Russia then it's 28

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What do you call an Ex-Penn State coach who is anal to young boys? - Strict

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Why could'nt the Jew drink milk? He was laptose intolerant.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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KNOCK! KNOCK! who knocks like that? all my friends break the door down...oh alright then ill answer i guess WHO IS IT? THE REAPER oh s*** dude! [panic face] NO ONES HOME? "In other news tonight, 2 local men found murdered in their living rooms, after looking up common joke style called anti joke. Police say the door was smashed in an obvious sign of forced entry. They seem to have just mysteriously had sudden heart attacks and fainted. heh heh...hey nancy....why did the chicken cross the road? [=< heh heh" "y" "because he thouroughly enjoyed darting out into traffic" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA *GASP!* X.x dead face "NANCY! NANCY!.....well in other OTHER news ive just murdered nancy, and thats no joke." *runs*

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Why did the man not get home to his loving family? He blew up.

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deez nuts

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A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

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One time there was a man walking down the street. Wrong, it is physically impossible to walk down a street, you can only walk along it.

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every cloud has a silver lining

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There is no "i" in "team," but there are two in "indigo."

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Roses are red Violets are violet the last time i saw this poem i couldn't rhyme no more

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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A man walks into a bar. He then takes a step back and notices that his head hurts.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What do you find at a black guys yard sale? A bunch of reasonably priced items since he comes from a low income household.

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What's worse than dying of boredom? ...Being stabbed.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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How many theropists does it take to change a lightbulb? -only one, but it takes a very long time and the lightbulb has to want to change.

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:)Knock, Knock :(Who's there? :)Barbie :(Barbie who? :)Barbieq

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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