A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, Show me your tits.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can't count

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Today is jessica's birthday and she is turnig 6 She walks in the living room to tell her dad its her birthday. Jessica"Dad, Dad guess how old i am today!" Dad "How old?" Jessica"6 dad im am 6". she walks into the kitchen to tell her Grandad Jessica" papa papa guess how old i am today" Grandad"Well for me to know this you would have to take of your panties" as he tells her she did as she was told. her grandad fingers her and smells her panties. He tells her "You are 6 today" Jessica"How did you know" Grandad"I listen as you told your dad in the dinning room".

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Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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Your momma's so stupid that she might not have graduated from high school, ceasing her ability to have an educated job. Now, she makes minimum wage and can barely feed her son.

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whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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"hey bro" "WHATS UP" "nothin..... I heard you had your first bj yesterday." "YEAH!!" "how'd it taste?" ........

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Why did the man eat the turnip greens? Because he was morbidly obese, and needed to maintain a proper diet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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