Q: what do you call a mushy green circle that tastes good? A: An avocado

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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Technically rainbows are white.....and have gold at the end.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft.

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing, oceans don't have hands to wave either

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Roses are red violets are blue monkeys like you belong in the zoo but don't be afraid I'll be there to that in the cage but laughing at you

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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So a man walks into a bar. Unfortunately, he had brittle bone disease, cracked open his skull and bled to death on the pavement.

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How do you stop a train? You stand in front of it.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I got this backwards Carpets are nice

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How do you make a blonde fall off of a cliff? You push her off of the cliff.

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Yo mama is so fat that she has to eat low calorie foods because she wants to lose weight.

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What's stupid a light bulb.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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How do you get a drugged man, a giant sombrero, and a guitar into a Chuck-E-Cheese? You take multiple trips.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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So, a man walks into a bar. Suddenly, the universe around him cracks, unable to sustain the weight of infinite potential punchlines. He tumbles through an empty void amongst shards of his broken reality.

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Hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have amnesia, i'm Skepta

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What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

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A horse walks into a bar and the bar tender asks "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because its a horse. It then poops on the floor and leaves

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Y' can't spell rape without ape.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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