there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

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Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

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Your mom is so fat, that i don't think she's attractive anymore.

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Two friends are sitting on a couch watching TV. One friend accidently turned on a pornography channel. The other friend felt awkward and went home.

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Why did Jimmy not go to school? Because Jimmy, along with his family, were killed in a horrible house fire. Knock Knock? Who's there? Not Jimmy...

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KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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Have you seen Ray Charles' new house? Neither has he...

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What's the difference between a police officer and a green dinosaur? They both aren't cabbages.

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what's worse than failing a test? having your house burnt down

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Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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Why did the rapper carry an umbrella? Because it was raining.

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Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

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what is 1 plus 1 i don't know ask your teacher

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Psychics.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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...and the rabbit says, "How 'bout that schnitzel!"

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What's worse than finding a spider hidden in your sheets? The spiders being followers of the devil then sucking out your soul and giving it to the devil while your body gets stretched and you die a very painful death.

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the Mexican mow lawns? He needed money to pay for his college tuition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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