Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

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99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down pass it around, 98 bottles of beer on the wall. 10 minutes into the song one man succumbs to alcohol poisoning.

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A blonde asks, "How come i cant get this to go in there?" However no one replies because no one is there.

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Jesus can can WALK on WATER, but Chuck Norris can SWIM in it.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

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The war against the moral men was long and hard, yet the Victor stands, the most dark of metals. Nero Metal, enjoy 2016 as much as you can enjoy both hellfire and the wrath of heaven against you, as there will be years no more for mankind to Count, trust not my Words, but the visions in Your head, and if you doubt Your sanity, know that by september the 13th, you will not be the only one. The end of the children of God is upon you, as you took his, he shall take Yours, eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth... Rest well... ...While you still can`t

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What does the black guy look for when he goes shopping? Some soap for his dead cat in the living room.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse unable to comprehend english shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the little boy say when he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up? Adolf Hitler

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What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

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What do you call a plane going to Africa with 100 black people on it? A plane, the contents of the plane is irrelevant...

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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whats worse than getting eaten by a bear a bear getting eaten by a squirrel who ate you too.

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what do kids take their lunch in to school. that depends if they buy lunch at school... otherwise they bring it in a lunchbox...

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall It depends on how hard you throw them

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I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I was raped by a giant scorpion...

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ill have a no.9 a n.9 large

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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