When life gives you lemons......you should be really scared because life shouldnt be giving you anything....espically lemons so if life offers you lemons you better run

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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roses are red violets are blue i am retarded i like pancakes

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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Why did the black man break up with his white girlfriend? Because he didn't love her anymore.

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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Why black people are so good at football? Because they have white feet.

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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Why does the girl continue to cry repetently everyday? Because she found out she was diagnosed with terminal cancer.

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Knock Knock Who's There Me

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What did Sherlock Holmes say when he saw a very pretty lady? Hello

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What do you call a duck playing a trombone? Hallucinations

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Just so you are warned here folks, some of the jokes down here are really nasty, like you know... Antijokes... But luckily you got my family friendly stories about sex, incest, panties, grenades, dripping Meows, yeah... Regular family show stuff... IT HAPPENS TO US ALL! Right? Please tell me right? Riiight? Right? Yes? Phew, okay, for a moment I actually thought you where gonna tell me I was normal...

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Superman and Batman get in a fight, who wins? No one the world has just lost a superhero.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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What do you call a bunch of spics playing soccer? Professional soccer players.

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And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because he saw another dog

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops. Would you be interested in learning more about our order? We make good use of people such as you. With all due respect, I would not exactly lend my sister to anybody that brags about engaging into intercourse with his own sister.

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why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom T H E R E ' R E A L L D E A D!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops