What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? It's Doctor Green. I've got some bad news about your test results. Can I come in?

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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Why did the murder walk up to the lady in the car? It was his mom.

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

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How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What fruit is used to make apple juice? Apples

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Why did Timmy miss school? He was killed in a tragic school bus accident

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple

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How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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How do you double any amount of cash? Stack it up and fold it in half.

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i like my babies how i like my potatoes..... skinned

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

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Kid A:We're home alone, you know what that means. Kid B:Cover ourselves in vaseline and slide around like slugs on the kitchen floor? Kid A:Yes

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Hey, in case you are around and still wonder how he got out. Anonymous tip from yours truly, if he had remained there, you would all have taken the blame. Just stay away from the deep web, and I wont be forced to come get all of you as well. For a long while I was suspicious that you might have been leaking information regarding me and all of us, but then the rules changed and information regarding Point Zero, subtle hints and such, began spreading, it has been removed, nobody will know what Intel was sold, so yeah, he was a mole, he is no more, for this I am sorry.

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Two fuses wearing bombs for hats were sitting on a bench with their frayed feet dangling on the ground. A match was walking along and tripped, hitting it's head on the ground and bursting into flame. Luckily the fuses had finished lunch by that time and gone back to work. Unluckily for the match it died from burns to 80 percent of it's body.

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops