A coyote walks into a bar, because human development has rapidly destroyed his natural habitat. He mauls three patrons.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the kid fall? He got pushed off of a building

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Eric went for a poo in the public toilets. After he finished, he realised that there was no toilet roll. So he had to just pull up his pants and put up with his sshitty arse for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, he was in a board meeting and when he went in he stank of shit and it was a very uncomfortable feeling.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Whats the difference between eating an egg and an abortion? Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? "Get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down -8

what has a hard shaft and an even harder head? A hammer

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the black man steal the mountain bike? He didn't. He purchased and payed for the mountain bike.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

thumb_up thumb_down -8

roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a pile of dead baby's and a Cadillac? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Ring around the rosy. A pocket full of posies. Ashes. Ashes. I just set a dead baby on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your mother is so stupid that she has lived a very unfulfilling life due to her lack of education.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops