Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poems... Nice tits

Jane was playing in the back of the bus with an eyeball...up and down,up and down.An old woman asks her : Jane,what are you doing?She responds : I`m trying to see who`s the driver

A man once went duck pin bowling, 5 years later he died of leukemia.

Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

What do you call a group that has a microphone, a bass, two guitars and a drum kit? A Band

what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a women.

A man jumped off a 30 story building. What did he learn? Nothing. He died instatly when he hit the ground.

Three men were on a plane. One chucked an apple out the window. Unfortunately, due to the low pressure outside, all the men were sucked out the window.

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

men, men like men= men+bed

Why did the Gay person fall down? He got shot.

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. He crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

interviewer: young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work? Young man: I ought to be able to. I’ve had 12 different jobs in 4 months.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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