How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Knock knock Fuck off!

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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9/11

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Why did the orphans kill timmy? timmy said a your mom joke.

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What's the diffence between a pieace of fried chicken and a Jew? A Jew wouldnt scream in a fryer.

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What do you call a mexican who works at a landscaping business? A hard working man who is trying to provide money for his family

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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i hate non minorities!

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Why did Anna fall off her bike? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Anna.

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Bryson got a concussion...he died

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what's body surfing? sounds dumb.

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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i've got a little something for you. in fact it's so small you can't see it. it's called spermatazoa

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What's worse than an asian driver? A blindfolded asian driver.

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You're rowing a canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, how many pancakes can you fit in a dog house? None because icecream doesn't have bones.

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I don't trust stairs. They're always up to something.

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a father listens to his son while he was on the computer. he heard "BABBY BABBY OHHHHH" and busted in He was releaved to find him masterbating to porn because he thought it was Justin Beiber

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What's sad about three black men in a Cadillac driving off a cliff? They were my friends.

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Why did the boy get and iphone? It was his birthday

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Really sorry Red, I did not mean to leave you hanging, and I hope you wont leave me hanging either, I just need my meds or thinks can get ugly, my health, I can tell you and even show you what my condition is, and heck show you my meds, but there are certain things even I wont spread on horsehead network, you know, people are so bitchy here on the internet, and if people knew what I got, yeaaah, I may start getting green thumbs, and I HAAAAAAATE those. Seriously, on a scale of zero (my ass) to ten, how insane do you see me as?

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What is square, brown, and smells funny? A box with a dead body in it.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Your adopted

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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