What is the difference between your mom and a vacuum? The vacuum does not use your mom to clean the floor since it is an inanimate object and can not control people.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I'm not sure, but the farmer must be very upset about the loss of one of his chickens.

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What's just not right? Left

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:) Hey AMBY VALENT! Want to join our horsehead show below?? *Laughing track with that fat loud bitch that wont stop laughing making the actors stare at each other like douches* :/ Muuh, I dont really care im just some meh character anyway so yuh...' *Laughing track* ? ???? ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA! :( Hey get outta our show here you China man! *OOOH! Track plays with some fa*ott whistling* ? ???? | Baka! *leaves* *Awww track plays* *Laughing track*

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Why do so many black people like watermelon? The same reason so many white people, do. Have you had that stuff, it's really good!

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius.

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Two jews walk into a bar. They drank beer and shot some pool and had a good time.

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Why doesn't the man like iced tea? Because he likes it hot.

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Why did the kid lay down? Because his legs were chopped off

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A man is sleeping and is woken up. What does he say? Why did you wake me up

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips are white and Pansies are pink.

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There was a little boy and a little girl in a bathtub having a bath. Suddenly the little girl looked down at the boy. "Can I touch it?" "No way -- you already broke yours off!"

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An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, Jack sat on his candle, and burnt his ass.

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What's worse than getting dumped? Heart Failure.

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Why is travis so funny? Trick question, He died of cancer 3 years ago.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

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A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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Why did the black guy stop his car? There was a stop sign

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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