Why are stand up comedians called stand up comedians? Because they are standing up while telling jokes, dumby.

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Who is worse than Adolf Hitler? Lebron James

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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Think of a number 1-10 Now add 39 Divide that by 20 Subtract two Now close your eyes.. Dark isn't it?

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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A donkey looks at a goat. The goat walks away.

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Roses are read Vliolets are bloo I cant spell How about you

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Hickory Dickory Dock My dog died today.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

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what did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, They just waved.

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Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did Aladin say to Mulan? Nothing. Although they are both Disney characters, they never appear in the same film, and therefore never communicate.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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What did the cow say to his family before he left the house? goodbye, because he was going to the slaughter house to get killed for meat

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what did the monitor say to the boy? Im a Monitor

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The farmer quickly saw the chicken escaping and grabbed it before it caught any dangerous outside diseases, making his entire flock go bad, and therefore making the farmer go bankrupt.

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Why did the monkey fall off? It had no more lives. Why did the second monkey fall off? I dunno. Why did the third monkey fall off? Since the second was unknown, the third does not exist. Why did the little girl died? It's pretty obvious.

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Roses are red Violets are blue i suck at poems nice titz

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Gestapo.

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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