once opon a time. never mind i'm just going to beat you kids.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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Q: Why did'n the dirty man jump into the shower? A: Because he spotted the potential danger to jump into a slippery shower and proceeded with caution.

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What do you call a black man with no legs? A fine example of the consequences of drink driving. Make sure you are physically stable or not under the effects of depressants, drugs or any form of alcohol before deciding to use a motor vehicle.

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What did the dog say to the tree? Bark.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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what did Russell wilson get for Christmas a seahawk..

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What's black and crunchy? CO-Co PUFFS

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FUCK YOU

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Why are black people afraid of lawn mowers? Because whenever you start it, it says run nigga nigga.

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once upon a time a guy thought he wrote an original anti joke but it wasnt

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Why was the man in a great deal of pain? Because he was hit in the face with a sack of potatoes.

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what shoes do pedafiles wear White vans

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Why did hitler kill the Jews? Because he had sever mental illnesses and anyone who thinks the holocaust is funny deserves to die a slow death.

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Why can't Stevie wonder read? He can. He reads braille.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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It's likely that very few people will read this.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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