How much do polar bears weigh? Between 800 and 1600 pounds

Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

roses are red, hills are green. i know you're ugly and i know I'm so mean.

Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

why did the monkey fall out of a tree?? a snail threw a refridgerator at him

How do you wake up lady GaGa? You po po po poker face!

Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

women are like buddhist shrines, you don't piss on them

What if your name was Mr. David and the office called you down and you were wearing a dress?

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

why did the black child cry? strange men cut his penis off

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

Knock, Knock Who's there? Betty. Answer the door!

fhfhfjjil;tyjgfkileg ryj ftrgndfhuiltyjgn

what's worse than stubbing your toe on cement being a Jew during the holcaust

A horse finds himself sleeping in the ocean. Immediately, he decides to be a dolphin.

Whats the difference between a rake and a sack of dead babys? i dont have a rake in my garage.

EVERYONE TEXT 513-550-3742 AND ASK HIM WHY HE HAS GOOP IN HIS PANTS. his names eric

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

ROTFL = Reaching out to fellow lossers

Stephen Hawkings may know everything about the universe, but try to get him to tie his shoes.

Why was Timmy crying? Because he got raped in a van

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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