Roses are red, Violets are red, you are a liar, oh wait you're not!! MY BACKYARD'S ON FIRE

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Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

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theres no 'I' in 'team' but theres an 'I' in 'hitler'

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Sigh, everybody in the world hates me :( Moral: Seven billion people? Realy?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What do a baby and popcorn have in common? They both pop in an explosive manner when put in a microwave and both can be consumed by the person who may have put the baby and popcorn in it so if you think this is funny then you have some problems and i will shortly in some period of time when my schedule is cleared refer you to a licensed psychologist and we will make an appointment for you.

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what happens when you and a 6 foot black guy get stuck on an island? hang him by a tree and make shelter

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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Q. What did the dog say to the cat? A. Ruff.

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

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What's red and checkered and tells you to turn your music down? Michael

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Whats red and black and has 8 legs? 4 dead african babies.

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A paralyzed guy walks into a bar... Oh wait, he can't.

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brittney griner

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

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What did the horse say to it's owner? It didn't horses can't talk

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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What name do you call a woman who is pregnant? Her first name.

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Why did priences Dian cross the street? Cause she wasn't wearing a seatbelt!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops