An Irishman walked into a pub.... He never left.

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How do you steal from a sushi buffet? You say please.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was suicidal.

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Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

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There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had legs.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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Why did you laugh at this joke. Because it was funny.

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What's worse than burning a candle. Burning the bible. -Juanita

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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Knock Knock Who is there? The IRS coming to take your house

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Q. What happened to the women who cut her finger? A. she got staff infection and died.

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Haikus are easy But sometimes they don't make sense Refrigerator

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Q: What did one muffin say to another? A: Nothing. Muffins don't talk, you idiot.

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what's a snake that has no legs a snake

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two mormons missionaries knock on a door they are welcomed into the home and treated with kindness later the family is baptized. the mormons return home with a sense of accomplishment and purpose.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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a man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. The Bartender says okay, here you go.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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What did the construction worker bring with him to work? - Tools

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why was the cat black it was a black cat

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Q. What is the difference between Jesus and and a picture of Jesus? A. It takes one nail to hang the picture Not trying to offend anyone just a joke to be clear

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Nothing, you should call a local animal rescue number and care to its needs.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops