What did the Mexican firefighter name his twin sons? Nothing, his wife had an abortion.

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The philosophy professor decided to isolate himself in his closet until he figured out the meaning of life. After ten years, he had done it. He came out of isolation and immediately found one of his former colleagues on campus. He said, "I've discovered the meaning of life!" The colleague said, "Ok, what is it?" The professor said, "Life is like a bridge." The colleague said, "How so?" After a few moments, the professor nodded and said, "Yea, I guess you're right."

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Little johnny raised his hand one day in class and asked if he could use the restroom. The teacher said he had to say the abc's first. Johnny successfully recited the abc's and then proceeded to use the restroom.

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What's sad about a girl getting hit in the face with a shovel? The shovel got dented..

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What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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how did the kid cut open his forehead? by putting on his underwear!

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How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

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Why did the welshman cross the road? To violently hump sheep.

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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What was the black kid carrying when he was running down your street? His television set

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What did the cow say to the farmer who was driving by in a tractor? MOOOOOOOO!

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Q: How many Jews can you fit in a 4-seater car? A: 4

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Living in Africa.

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A black man walks into a white man on the street. The white man viciously beats the black man.

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You are as dumb as a dumb looking person.

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A hooker walks into a hospital. Only to find out that she has aids.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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what's the difference between a jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your nuts with a jew.

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What did the panda say to the other panda? We are fuzzy Oreos

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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