Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

How do you drown a blonde? Force her head underwater until she can no longer breathe, thus shutting down her brain and killing her.

Why is Texas so hot? The sun

How can you get a handicap black man to walk again? You don't...... Unless you motivate him with fried chicken. Anti-anti-joke!

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Whats 9 plus 10? 19

What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

What did the douche bag get for Christmas?

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

If monkeys ate trees, than what would trees be made out of? No one knows because that will never happen.

Why did Susie fall off the swings? She had no arms. Knock! Knock! Who's there? Not Susie.

Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side!

What did the woman say to the man before she had sex with him? "May I have sex with you, please?"

How many dead guys does it take to build a shed? None. The contractor did it for 40 dollars an hour using maple wood.

if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

My wife is so fat that I find her unattractive.

What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

What happened when Glen jumped off a building? The rope snapped his neck. He died.

some weirdo nerd was just convicted of a hit and run Just kidding. All he did was suffocate your dad with a whoopee cusion.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

Q: How do you stop a black man from drowning? A: Quit peeing in his mouth.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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