Knock knock. Who's there? There's no need to ask this question due to the fact that most homes are built with peepholes nowadays.

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What starts with ''F" ends in "uck" and usually means excitement? A Firetruck

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Guess where my mom lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my dad lives? Utah? Correct Guess where my aunt lives Utah!?!?!? NO!!!! Trick Question b... she's dead

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What would you do if I walked onto your property and started to smash up your mailbox with a sledge hammer? You would be very scared and most probably call the police.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

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Why did the vegetarian eat a steak? Because he was not a vegetarian

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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Yo momma so stupid she threw a rock at the ground And missed.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. ----- Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: What did the dog say to the owner when he took him to the vet? A: Nothing. It's a dog. It can't talk.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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why did the black guy kill the white guy. the white guy killed his family.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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KNOCK KNOCK whos there Malcom i dont know any Malcom go away!

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

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Where did Jimmy go during the bombing? An underground shelter where he would be kept from harm.

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Why did the Pakistani man cry when the Nigerian man was killed in a terrorist attack? They were lovers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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A fat man walks into a gym, and comes out fatter

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What did Ben's Graandma get him for Christmas? Nothing, she died on Thanksgiving!

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Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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