An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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An man walks into a bar and then proceeds to purchase an alcoholic drink.

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I have cancer. And you're next.

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Why did the cat scratch the person? Because it's mean.

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Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil armstrong Neil armstrong walks on the moon...Michael Jackson molests little boys

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense..............

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why did the teenaged girl cry? she was about to have an abortion

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Why did the chicken cross the road. To get to the other side. Original anti joke.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: Someone threw a hippo at the pilot.

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A jew walks into a church. he wishes to be touched by God.

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What did the apple say to the pear? ...Nothing they can't talk...

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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John's life hasn't been the same since committing suicide 13 years ago.

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7 because 7 is a escaped mental patient that thinks 6 betrayed him

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An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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And if we met in 1780, I was a white southern aristocratic plantation owner and you were my dark skinned servant lady ... slave Whenever I could get away from the Mrs., I'd go to your shed and then I'd steal you kisses. But let's be serious, I'd still work you full time as a slave, there's a difference between romantic language and a complete disregard for socioeconomic trends.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops