How do you stop the mailman from performing his daily routes? You fill his house with blood thirsty bobcats

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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HAVING OTHER LESBIAN'S OVARIES C AUGHT A AROUND U MBRELLAS SITTING TREES

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

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Did you know Helen Keller had a doll house in her back yard? -No Neither did she

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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What do you get when you stab a man in the leg with a knife? A court summons because you have committed a horrible crime

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What type of party do you throw when your fat? A baby shower.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

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What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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knock knock who's there boo boo who why are you crying it's just a joke

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Why was the black guy sitting in the back of the bus? Because there were no more seats available in the front.

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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How do you get a blonde's attention? Throw deodorant at her until she looks.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops