I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

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How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

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What sound does a dead cat make? Nothing, it's dead.

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Knock Knock Who did that?

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Your mother is so fat that she has to undergo amputation of her foot because of type 2 diabetes.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Susie.

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whats wores than eating a vag. a gaint vag eating you.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had two penises.

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Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

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A duck walks into a bar *************************** Later that day the homeless man had duck for dinner.

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What's the difference between a book and a house? Their names

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I started writing poetry the other day: POETR That's coming along nicely.

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How do you get 1,000 dead babies into a car? Blender How do you get them out? Straw

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Bill went into a store and bought a bagel. However, after eating it, he realizes he meant to buy a doughnut. He tells the cashier that he meant to order a doughnut, and asks for his money back. The cashier says no and the man leaves.

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Why does tundes food suck? Because he is from Africa and the cuisine is different

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Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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What is the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? One is fun to hit with a sledgehammer while the other is just a water melon.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was sick and tired of all the repeated monkey jokes and commited suicide and preceded to fall out of the tree.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ken. Can I some and use your toilet, I really need a shit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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