"How high are you?" "I don't know, sir." "Well, look at the god damn altimeter."

I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

A man with Azheim - Eh, I forgot what it was called.

Why are Mexicans so good at jumping, swimming and running? They aren't. You're just racist.

Whats blind and deaf? Hellen Keller.

What do you get when you cross a stream with a prostitute? A wet hooker.

Smoke Day, Every Weed.

Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

Did you know that many scientists will find out what happens after death within your lifetime? But not their lifetime...

A black man walks into a KFC. He buys a bucket of chicken, then distributes it to several homeless men he supports off of his meager income because he knows their situations are much worse than his.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate your mom.

what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

What do you call a fat man who can turn slim? I don't know

whats red and brown and goes about 30mph? a squirrel in a blender.

Whats invisible and smells lile carrots? Rabbit fart

Knock knock who's there? Gary Glitter ?_?

Get up Look in the mirror

Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

What do you get when you cross a squirrel and a horse? Each animal has a different number of genetic faults therefore such a process would be impossible.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It is not a sentient animal and is unaware of the dangers it will face.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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