A muslim gets on an airplane and takes his seat. The plane lands safely and he enjoys his vacation in Florida.

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knock knock who's there ?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Simply because he stopped and looked both ways.

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How babies can you fit in a car seat? 1

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whats cold, blue and hard? a frozen blueberry.

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nolan is gay

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

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Your mama so stupid She has a 3rd grade education

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who's specky and stinks of shit? josh moran

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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Why did Susie fall off the monkey bars? She had no arms.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

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"What's long, black, and smelly?" "The unemployment line." Upon hearing his boss tell this joke, the accountant files a complaint with human resources and the boss must attend several work training classes to develop a better sense of racial awareness and compassion. The workplace soon becomes a much less threatening environment for all people.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? Prior to this incident he was being chased by a psychopathec killer who had just murdered his family. As he was escaping on his bike, the murder's lookout who was holding a shotgun, swung the butt end of the gun, causing severe brain damage and eventually death to the escaping boy, also causing him to topple over on his bycicle.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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why did the fish get flushed down the drain? because it was dead

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A polar bear walks into a bar, sits down, and says, "Can I have a.........................beer?" The bartender asks, "Why the large pause?" The bear responds, "I have a speech impediment"

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a duck was clearing out his apartment when he came across a rat. the rat turned into a genie. 'i will grant you 3 wishes' said the genie. 'whats the catch?' replied the duck 'can i touch your dinkle?'

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Why was the interracial marriage unsuccessful? Because several social factors have challenged the couple as they live in a rural part of the South and interracial couples generally aren't as accepted in those areas as in progressive city centers.

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How much signal does an Asian woman need to cut across 4 lanes? None

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead dive off a motorboat. They are sucked into the propeller and brutally disfigured instantly.

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Son: Mommy can I have some cookies? Mom: Sure, they're on the top shelf! Son: But I don't have any arms! Mom: No arms, no cookies!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops